Recently, after a hard day, I went to the uni pub with several girlfriends and one male friend. As always happens when females and alcohol are mixed together, the conversation turned to relationships. Females drunkenly talking about relationships inevitably turns into 'sex talk' and before too long you are sitting around discussing 'your first time' as openly as if you were discussing your latest Zara purchase. I don't know how this happens, but somehow it does.
Fear not, this is not going to be a weird sex post, I'm far too catholic for that. I may not mind discussing it with my friends, but physically writing it down and posting it into the world of cyber space for all to read is just a step too far for me.
As the evening went on in the pub it became clear that for most, their first time was either a horrendous experience they would rather not discuss, something they regretted immediately afterwards or just something that was a bit 'bleugh', I think was the word used. I felt a mixture of pride, glee and guilt that my first time was none of those things. Not only do I have no regrets over my first time but I actually just really enjoyed mine, to be honest. The boy is question (hmmm...I think I'll call him 'F1'. If you knew him, the name would make sense) was not a long term boyfriend I had been with for years nor was he an old childhood friend that I had made a pact with (it scares me the number of old school friends of mine that forged such pacts AND followed through with them. What can I say, I attended a secondary school where the majority of pupils, in my year at least, would have been well suited as a cast member of 'Dawson's Creek'), no, F1 was a close friend of The Blonde One who I had a soft spot for for a little while. When we got to know each other properly and started seeing each other, everything just happened very naturally. For those of you that have read previous posts you will be well aware that anything to do with romance must be not be forced and must come as a matter of course. I do realise how very silly I sound, yes, you've no need to worry.
The night in question was all my decision, although he did seem more than a little pleased by it. It was everything a girl could have hoped for in the circumstances, if you'll mind the cliche (how do you get the acute accent on that 'e' on this blog??). I always knew that I was in the minority, so many of my friends can hardly bring themselves to think about their first time, but hearing my young uni friends speaking and ranting about their first time it became all the more clear that I really am tremendously lucky and owe a lot to F1.
I spent some time after this drunken evening trying to work out why my experience seems so different from many of my friends. Why am I lucky enough to look back on the whole experience with fondness? Once again, I'm really not sure. F1 and I weren't 'together' for long as the distance between us (roughly a hundred and forty miles away...I know, I know, when will I find a boy that doesn't reside over a hundred miles from me? I don't make it easy for myself do I?) was too much for a male university student to handle, and frankly, that hurt, but it doesn't take away from anything that happened on that memorable evening. So it clearly wasn't the situation as a whole, I felt almost heart broken afterwards (goodness me, can't girls be dramatic). So what was it? I have racked my brains and the only thing I have come up with is that I waited. That is all. I was not all that young, I was no '40 year old virgin' either, I thank you, but I hadn't just come of age either. I didn't wait for true love, no, I am not that patient, but nor did I jump into bed with the first young whipper snapper that asked me. With a larger than average cup size, men do seem to 'offer' their services rather quickly regardless of whether or not they find you attractive.
I always knew I wanted to wait a while but when I was sixteen my first love broke my heart so whole heartedly that I had no intention of rushing anything. At the time, I felt that if it wasn't with my first love, I just didn't want to bother. The older I got, the more nerve wracking it became, but I still wasn't willing to ruin the fact that I had waited on just 'some guy'. So when F1 and I became closer, I finally felt as if I had waited long enough.
I'm not saying that waiting is the only way to ensure a favourable first time, a friend of mine lost her virginity at a fairly young age and has no regrets whatsoever, but for me, waiting until I had found someone I felt was worthy of being my first has meant that I am lucky enough to look back on my time with F1 and smile, and that will always mean the world to me.
And who says a drunken conversation has to end badly. How little you know.
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