I'm really not sure where to start with this one!? My life has come to a crossroads, a new chapter, a folk in the road or whatever you want to call it and the problem is I don't have the first idea what to do or where to go.
My issue with them both at the moment is that my heart has ideas above her station and my head is not helping me sufficiently. Twunts, both of them. My heart wants to go down a certain road which my head disagree with. Strongly. As do I. Every time my heart starts to get carried away my head begins screaming at me with more velocity than my five week old niece when she is suffering from a bad case of colic. My head goes into a complete and utter meltdown, one yelp short of a major panic attack before my hearts starts to realise that my head is actually making sense and momentarily backs down. I say monetarily because my heart becomes impatient as she waits to hear my heads big plans for the future and why we can't possibly go along with what she wants. Of course, my head has nothing. Less than nothing. Deafening silence from her is all we get. Which is just delightful as you can imagine. She's more bloody clueless than I am. She tries to distract my heart with pretty and exciting objects until she can think of her own plan to satisfy my heart. My head's most cunning trick (more cunning that a particularly cunning weasel during cunning season. Are weasel's cunning? They seem cunning to me), is to thrust my five week old niece onto me. This is very clever and always distracts me for hours on end. She's just so adorable (my niece that is, not my head. My head is rather dull). Even with the high-pitch never-ending screams of colic (niece again, obvs). However; my head cannot distract my heart for too long without actually thinking of a new plan of action, so until this happens I'm afraid my heart is winning out. And the longer my head ponders a new plan, the more momentum my heart has. Her desires for my future are becoming more and more outrageous. Silly flipping over-enthusiastic heart.
I should really be thrilled by this, of course, who doesn't want to follow their heart? Well, me for one thing. I have been listening to my head for too long now and I know, deep down, that my head's logic is actually faultless. There may be a riot going on in my heart but until someone offers to stop it (or cause it to quicken, depending on how you look at it...) then there really is nothing to done. Life is not a Romantic Comedy and flipping nora I'm bloody glad about it. Having some dashing gent declare his love for me in a public venue, or worse, surrounded by a dozen roses, after a less than a fortnight of acquaintance would be my idea of a living nightmare. It's been a few days, A FEW DAYS, calm the-bloody-hell down. I am not that lovable. Get back to me is a few months and then we'll talk love. Maybe. See how I feel. We have to be sensible sometimes and my heart's constant over zealous nagging is beginning to wear thin. But more worryingly, it's beginning to wear me and my head down and I fear that I may start listening to her. And soon. Oh. Good. Lord!!
If the next few posts are complete incoherent rambles with alarming amounts of profanity, you'll know my heart has won; I listened to her and all hell has broken loss. Or in other words, we went along with what my heart wanted and my head was correct. Once again. My heart will be sulking and I will be sad. For one thing, being silly enough to listen to my heart, two, because my head will be gloating (I hate it when she does that) and three, because I will feel like shite. Double shite. I think we may need some tissues here. A lot of them...
...Someone please talk some sense into me. QUICK!
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