When you have one thing and one thing only on your mind, no matter how small and insignificant that thing may be, you find that nothing else can worm its way in and stick. And so you are pretty much an empty shell for the entirety of the day and all your efforts to complete any other task are utterly wasted.
Usually I would say that this is extremely frustrating and just antagonises the original problem that had completely engulfed your mind in the first place. However, today, I am rather thankful for my absent-mindedness; why? Because I have to meet with a jolly old lecturer who decided to fail my assignment. I'm a fairly laid back individual and when I read the mark I received yesterday, it was so absurdly low that I laughed and assumed it was a mistake (I had already spoken with 5 other university friends who were in a similar situation. The organisational skills of my particular university leave a lot to be desired.). So off I went to my lecturer to find out what my 'correct' result was only to be met by 'Aw, yes, 1066 girl, I was wondering when you'd be here to pick up your failed assignment.' (1066 girl is unfortunately not my usual nickname, alas. I just happen to complete my history assignment on a 'Year 2 history project' looking at...ten points if you guessed it 'The Battle of Hastings'. Well done, you). I was not expecting that the mark to be the correct one. What on God's green earth!?
Please do not presume I am an intellectual snob that expects a first in all that I do. One, I didn't get my arse to university until I was 23, two, I am severely dyslexic and three, I am doing teaching. (If I silly enough to inform you of my choice in university I would be able to add 'and four, I'm studying at blah, blah, blah, university) However, the grade I received was so low that I couldn't help but think it had to be some sort of computing error that seem to be the only thing my university excels at. Standing in a doorway in front of your lecturer realising that you have missed the point of your assignment so entirely that you assume a grade is a mistake is not a good feeling to have, let me tell you. But my lecturer was all smiles and pleasantries, so I thought, 'ok, as annoying as this is, at least I can now find out exactly where I went wrong'. If I have just misunderstood, then it'll be easy to redo once I know what I am meant to do. However, remaining in the doorway for a further ten minutes my confusion was not helped one iota. My lecturer read and reread her notes and could not tell me what I had missed that would find me with such a dismal mark.
In my opinion, if you going to fail someone by such a huge amount, then it really ought to be for something other than 'er, perhaps you need to organise it in a slightly different manner?' She was so unsure of herself and her mark that she asked if she could reread the entire thing and reconvene this meeting for tomorrow. Yet more travelling and worry, what fun.
I would, in normal circumstances, be in a bit of tis was about the whole situation, however, today it has barely crossed my mind. And so, although usually this state of mind drives me to despair, today, I am so very grateful for it that I may even thank the person that has my mind so completely unable to function on a normal level (lucky escape), because it has meant that I can take myself into this meeting today looking about as cool and calm as Marlon Brando, which in my opinion, is nothing but a good thing.
Thursday 24 February 2011
Tuesday 22 February 2011
My new guilty secret...
For those of you that have been blogging for years or have been reading blogs for years you will probably be well aware of the Blog site 'Post Secret'. I was only introduced to this site on Sunday, and I think I can safely say that it'll be part of my new Sunday routine for a very long time.
For those of you that aren't aware Post Secret is as simple as it sounds, people post their secrets, very often on a postcard, to, it seems, a man in Germantown, Maryland, USA. This man, I believe he is called Frank, chooses from the masses a few of these secrets to share with the world on his blog http://www.postsecret.com/ .
Although, if you check out this week's blog you may not enjoy quite how dark some of these secrets are; one secret is a voicemail that had been sent in by a boy with this accompanying email...
Of the above email and voicemail, I questioned whether I wanted to listen to it, but in the end I thought that if this boy wanted to share his secret then it was worth listening to. The voicemail was incredibly haunting and something I don't think will ever leave me. In a good way. I'm glad I listened to it. It was painfully heart breaking, real and reminds us that if a friend is calling, there must be a reason and surely wherever possible, you should pick up. Not that I think this poor by has anything to feel guilty about, and I can't get how brave he is for sharing this. I am a terrible one for ignoring a phone call and texting back a wee while later because, if I am completely honest, I think I sound like Theodore The Chipmunk with a head cold when I speak on the phone. I think someone confusing me for a chipmunk is something I need to learn to live with.
But this is not meant to be a sad post, this is meant to convey how fabulous I think this beautifully simple blog is. I am forever writing emails I have no intention of sending, just so I can physically write down my thoughts or how I am feeling. They are often about the same thing and the same person, but it still feels good to get the feeling out each and every time. Now, perhaps I have a new way of letting these feelings out, thanks to Post Secret...
...now, which secret to start with!?
For those of you that aren't aware Post Secret is as simple as it sounds, people post their secrets, very often on a postcard, to, it seems, a man in Germantown, Maryland, USA. This man, I believe he is called Frank, chooses from the masses a few of these secrets to share with the world on his blog http://www.postsecret.com/ .
Although, if you check out this week's blog you may not enjoy quite how dark some of these secrets are; one secret is a voicemail that had been sent in by a boy with this accompanying email...
"This is the last thing I heard from my girlfriend in January of 2009. It was right before she took her own life. I didn't answer the phone because I was in class, and have regretted it ever since. "...I am assured that it is a complete mix of secrets and many can make you laugh out loud. I had a look through the archives, and there is a real mix of secrets, including the blissfully silly "Whenever I have dinner with my in-laws, I pretend I'm on survior...if I just eat it I will win the million." You may not laugh out loud, but it certainly made me smile.
Of the above email and voicemail, I questioned whether I wanted to listen to it, but in the end I thought that if this boy wanted to share his secret then it was worth listening to. The voicemail was incredibly haunting and something I don't think will ever leave me. In a good way. I'm glad I listened to it. It was painfully heart breaking, real and reminds us that if a friend is calling, there must be a reason and surely wherever possible, you should pick up. Not that I think this poor by has anything to feel guilty about, and I can't get how brave he is for sharing this. I am a terrible one for ignoring a phone call and texting back a wee while later because, if I am completely honest, I think I sound like Theodore The Chipmunk with a head cold when I speak on the phone. I think someone confusing me for a chipmunk is something I need to learn to live with.
But this is not meant to be a sad post, this is meant to convey how fabulous I think this beautifully simple blog is. I am forever writing emails I have no intention of sending, just so I can physically write down my thoughts or how I am feeling. They are often about the same thing and the same person, but it still feels good to get the feeling out each and every time. Now, perhaps I have a new way of letting these feelings out, thanks to Post Secret...
...now, which secret to start with!?
A secret from the post secret archive's that certainly rings true with this southern girl...
Monday 21 February 2011
Ranting is good for the soul...
I haven't mentioned this but I am currently on my third and final teaching practice. Although, in many ways, it is one of the favourite parts of my teaching course - it's the best way to perfect and understand your teaching style - but it bloody well leaves you exhausted, emotional (which is very unlike me) and just altogether drained.
Even if your placement is going well, you cannot muster up the energy day after day after day and eventually it does catch up with you. Especially when your body is getting over a summer dose of Glandular Fever. That was couldn't have come at a better time, thank you, Glandular Fever, thank you so very much. It was then, with some relief to find that two of my other university friends were feeling exactly the same way as I was; exhausted; emotional; drained and to add another, alone.
It's such a strange feeling; obviously, I wasn't glad to hear that two of my friends were feeling exhausted, emotional, drained and alone - it was not a schadenfreude moment, I promise you - and obviously, hearing they were feeling the same way didn't give me the sudden burst of energy that I had been lacking, - only proplus seems to do that at the moment - but somehow, just knowing that I wasn't alone in my exhaustion made everything that bit more bearable.
Why is this? It is not as if I am not one to worry about what others think of me or to worry about being different. Nor does it worry me if I am the only one to like something and yet, after spending time with these girls and suddenly realising that I wasn't quite so alone in my exhaustion, made such a world of difference I can't even explain. I think even the most independent of us needs to know that at least one other person out there is going through or at least thinking the same things we are.
I also genuinely think a good rant is a wonderful thing for the soul. You know you agree with me. I hate to admit it, but just voicing all the wee irritations of your week really feels like someone has taken them away. This is so very silly. It is not as if they have gone anywhere. But sharing really does help. Could this be another reason why I have finally started a blog? I guess it is a way to voice all those things I haven't been able to. Who knows, perhaps you shall become my new way to regenerate myself? Watch this space.
Josephine xx
Even if your placement is going well, you cannot muster up the energy day after day after day and eventually it does catch up with you. Especially when your body is getting over a summer dose of Glandular Fever. That was couldn't have come at a better time, thank you, Glandular Fever, thank you so very much. It was then, with some relief to find that two of my other university friends were feeling exactly the same way as I was; exhausted; emotional; drained and to add another, alone.
It's such a strange feeling; obviously, I wasn't glad to hear that two of my friends were feeling exhausted, emotional, drained and alone - it was not a schadenfreude moment, I promise you - and obviously, hearing they were feeling the same way didn't give me the sudden burst of energy that I had been lacking, - only proplus seems to do that at the moment - but somehow, just knowing that I wasn't alone in my exhaustion made everything that bit more bearable.
Why is this? It is not as if I am not one to worry about what others think of me or to worry about being different. Nor does it worry me if I am the only one to like something and yet, after spending time with these girls and suddenly realising that I wasn't quite so alone in my exhaustion, made such a world of difference I can't even explain. I think even the most independent of us needs to know that at least one other person out there is going through or at least thinking the same things we are.
I also genuinely think a good rant is a wonderful thing for the soul. You know you agree with me. I hate to admit it, but just voicing all the wee irritations of your week really feels like someone has taken them away. This is so very silly. It is not as if they have gone anywhere. But sharing really does help. Could this be another reason why I have finally started a blog? I guess it is a way to voice all those things I haven't been able to. Who knows, perhaps you shall become my new way to regenerate myself? Watch this space.
Josephine xx
Well, this is me...
It's probably best to start with a simple hello!
I think I am rather late to this whole 'blogging' malarkey, but having recently got into reading a few blogs, I thought I might give it a go. You can blame my brilliant best friend, Miss. Jenny Hayden, ( http://www.thestylepa.com/ ) for being such a pheonomenal blogger and raving about it. I don't pretend to have half her talent or passion or wit, but this is me.
Really, I think this blog is just going to be an opportunity for me to share what excites me, what is frustrating me or anything that has caught my eye during my week. If you like what you read, visit again and if you don't, well, there's no need to cry over spilt milkshake now is there.
What is with name? It's simple; my name is Josephine and 'Not Tonight Josephine' seemed fitting, and slightly catchier than 'My musings' and 'Thinking Out Loud...' was already taken, by the rather wonderful Dawn Porter. If you haven't read her blog, I would most definitely recommend it... http://dawnporter.wordpress.com/ ). I know it's not the most original, but hey, I liked it.
Well, I shall log back in when I have something interesting to post.
So for now, byee.
Josephine xx
I think I am rather late to this whole 'blogging' malarkey, but having recently got into reading a few blogs, I thought I might give it a go. You can blame my brilliant best friend, Miss. Jenny Hayden, ( http://www.thestylepa.com/ ) for being such a pheonomenal blogger and raving about it. I don't pretend to have half her talent or passion or wit, but this is me.
Really, I think this blog is just going to be an opportunity for me to share what excites me, what is frustrating me or anything that has caught my eye during my week. If you like what you read, visit again and if you don't, well, there's no need to cry over spilt milkshake now is there.
What is with name? It's simple; my name is Josephine and 'Not Tonight Josephine' seemed fitting, and slightly catchier than 'My musings' and 'Thinking Out Loud...' was already taken, by the rather wonderful Dawn Porter. If you haven't read her blog, I would most definitely recommend it... http://dawnporter.wordpress.com/ ). I know it's not the most original, but hey, I liked it.
Well, I shall log back in when I have something interesting to post.
So for now, byee.
Josephine xx
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