I am a teacher, did I tell you guys that? I forget. But I am. I teach two sets of children; mainstream and a small group of children with Profound and Multiple Learning Difficulties or PMLD as it's more commonly known. Minus all the paperwork that comes with it, I'm not sure I could physically, emotionally or mentally love my job more than I do. It is my savour. I don't live near my closest friends, but my job fills me with such joy that it makes the distance seem worth it. Most of the time.
The children I teach are very young and so I try to have a very nurturing but lively approach with them. With my mainstream children, if it is time for our all together carpet lesson and they are not sat how I would like them to be, I tell them that I am going to close my eyes, count to five and when I open them again everyone will be sat beautifully and ready for our lesson to begin/continue, etc and they will have made me so very happy (yes, basically, my working day is spent acting as if I am a Disney character). It has a near on 100% success rate. Their wondering faces as I open my eyes is something that is sure to raise a genuine smile that hits my eyes.
It has got me thinking; why isn't everything in life this simple? Yes, I have always believed that anything worth having is worth fighting for, but as I sit here trying to work out if 'what I really want' is the same as 'what is good for me' (and yes, it bloody well is. Just saying!) I can't help but think that sometimes, just sometimes I wish life were as innocent and simple as the minds of my beloved first class. When things are getting tough I will announce that "I am going to close my eyes, count to five and when I open them again The Boy will be there and say 'Fuck it all, I'm here for now'..."
Of course, if I tried this and by some miracle it did work I'd probably start questioning how The Boy got into my flat without a set of keys when the door is locked. And then I would assume that I am now a magical witch with powers. Obvs. I would begin running through all of the powers and spells that the Halliwell sisters have shown us all (The Charmed Ones. I confess, I really love that show!). Failing my ability to orb, I would check other magical powers by way of a very quick trial of my Samantha Stephens style nose twitch (Bewitched!). And then the realisation that I am very easily distracted would hit me at full speed and I would ponder whether this distractibility has any effect on my everyday life. Wait, sorry, what were we talking about again? How's your pet llama? That's right, yes?
I jest. Of course.
I know that it's all our complexities that make us who we are and are, in essence, what we adore in each others characters, but for this small period of time on this cold and bright Sunday, I would like nothing more than to close my eyes, count to five and have The Boy appear with no complications left. Really, is that so much to ask?
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