I do apologise for not posting a song on here yesterday, but in my defence I have been acting as Nurse Josephine to a sister with a bad back and her poorly daughter. Today, to act as my sisters arms I accompanied them both to a 'New Mothers and Baby' group. This turned out to be a horrendous mistake. There is a reason why people without children do not attend such groups as they will leave you in a cold sweat within the first ten minutes. It's a terrifying place for the non-mother. Women, clever headstrong women who have no doubt had men eating from the palm of their hands stroll into the group and feel it appropriate to utter the phrase 'Does someone want boobie?' to their small infant. And this was all before I even had the chance to introduce myself. It's all fun and games until the child's (a boy, no less) first word is boobie. One has the feeling that no woman will ever be good enough for that particular rugrat.
If that wasn't enough to freak me out sufficiently then the constant use of the word 'teat' for over two hours most definitely was. I have never been a member of the 'tit' fanclub; boobies, breasts, chest are all words that fill me with joy but tit, tit has always left me cold, and for me, the 'teat' word is just too closely related. I can't help but imagine that some perverse man somewhere invented this word to make 'tit' sound foreign and exotic. It didn't work and has no place in a Mother and Baby's group no matter how many times Sister tells me they are simply referring to the section of the bottle the baby sucks. The word is wrong and I shall be a happy lady indeed if I never hear that dreaded word again. EVER.
I can say with the same seriousness that I would take into a meeting with Her Majesty The Queen, herself that that Mother and Baby group may turn out to be the best contraception I ever stumble across. Of course there were some lovely and even normal mothers in this group (Sister being one of them, Thank God), but the chorus of deep voice 'cooing' (why must your voice drop seventeen octaves!? Why!) will forever be a reminder of what I could turn into. And frankly, I don't want to sound like a man two millimetres short of my child's face, thank you very much. I'm not saying I don't want the happiness that motherhood can bring, but I think I will leave the whole situation alone until I find a man with great teeth (always had a thing about good teeth!) that will ensure I have a child as cute as my niece.
However, the past few days have, Baby group aside, been rather fun. With a poorly niece whose salty tears leave my heart breaking whenever she is fighting her sleep (why do babies do this!? I'm sure if they could talk they would only be yelling "I'M JUST SOOOOOOOO TIRED!!". I dream of the day my tiny niece understands that by going to sleep, she'll no longer feel fatigued. She's 12 weeks tomorrow, I think my wait will be a long one) has shown me just how stressful parenting can be - mothers of the world, you are all amazing. Unless you over use the word teat - however, luckily, in my eyes my niece is the cutest bundle of awesomeness that ever existed and I have loved being a hands-on helper. I don't even mind changing her nappy. There is no greater sign of love than that. Apart from Nutella, of course.
I have recently discovered that not only is my niece cuteness personified but she also has incredible taste. I now find that singing her one of my favourite 'Slipper and the Rose' songs is a sure fire way to settle those moments when her ear piecing screams reach alarming volumes. This is why my song for the week is the beautiful 'Once I was Loved' sung by the best Cinderella of all time, Gemma Craven.
The song has been a favourite since before I can remember and will continue to be long after I have lost my marbles in Neverneverland. Its simple melody never fails to raise a smile from ear to ear. I secretly hope this will be enough to entice you all into watching this spectacular film.
Once I was Loved from The Slipper and The Rose, performed by Gemma Craven, written by Sherman and Sherman.
Once I was loved,
I knew I was loved,
I flew through my days,
in fanciful ways,
Secure and sure there'd always be,
Endless love for me,
Gone is that love,
My fanciful Dove,
has tears in her eyes,
She no longer flies,
And yet my heart will not despair,
For it's there,
just a memory away,
Once I was loved,
So always, come what may,
Loves happy memory,
Ever will be loving me
(Note that I don't own these lyrics...)
As I said, this has become my go-to song/lullaby every time Niece is crying and more often than not, even with the atrocious sound of my singing voice, my niece will settle and all seems right with the world again. The Slipper and The Rose, is there anything you can't do?
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