On Sunday I heard some sad news. Terribly sad. News that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, so to hear that it had happen to someone who is very sweet made my heart sink even further down than my stomach.
Loss is something that we must all deal with however, I have noticed that the older we get the harder it becomes to deal with. Perhaps it is because as I get older I am realising how rare it is to find people that you can love unconditionally (and, if you're lucky, who love you back) and when they are taken from you it inevitably feels as if a small part of you has been taken with them. The people we love become so much a part of who we are that we don't realise that without them we are no longer whole.
Nothing anyone says makes loss OK, or easy to deal with or will make the world seem whole again. Sometimes just hearing 'You know what, this is utter shite. If you want to simply sit in silence with someone, I will be there' is more touching than all the "I'm so sorry's" in the world. Not that they don't mean anything, of course. It's just that loss is so utterly soul destroying that it can consume you like nothing else we face on this earth and people should be allowed to feel this way a little longer than we give them before they decide it's time to move on.
When I have lost the people that were the most important to me I wanted to sit in silence and I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry silently until there were no more tears left within me to fall from my eyes. Until my cheeks could no longer soak up any more moisture. I wanted to be sad because frankly, I felt sad and I wanted my sadness to be OK with everyone else. But in this silence and tears, surprisingly I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to feel the presence of someone else next to me, close to me, even touching me, but I still wanted to be silent. I didn't want to feel any pressure in talking. I simply wanted the knowledge that someone was there and that was all. I have discovered that for most of us this is incredibly difficult. Silence can be awkward and even terrifying at times but being with someone when they are at their lowest point no matter how uncomfortable you may feel will create a bond that will be almost impossible to break.
It is OK to be sad. It is OK to be angry. As Morrie Schwartz (Tuesdays with Morrie) said, let yourself become completely consumed by your emotions. If you want to be sad, if you want to grieve, if you want to cry, be sad, grieve, cry. And do it with Passion. But then move on from it and say, that was sadness, I felt that but now it is time to feel another emotion. I have been trying to do this since I read Tuesdays With Morrie a few weeks ago but I feel when a great sadness comes into my life I may find this concept harder to complete than I do at present.
At a time when there is great sadness for people I know I could not bring myself to bring you all a song of great joy. No song seemed fitting, so I am turning to a great love of mine who helps when I want to be silent; Yann Tiersen. He is a French composer whose work you will have probably heard in the wondrous film 'Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amelie Poulain', or simply 'Amelie' as most of us know it. Which is where the piece of music I have chosen comes from.
The piece in question has no lyrics, when a piece of music is this simple and this beautiful words become superfluous.
And so I hope you will take the length of this piece of beautiful music to remember what is important to you in this world...I know what, or should I say who are important to me and I will make sure that this week they know it.
La Valse D'Amelie by Yann Tiersen
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